Python Meets the Habs' D

[arg] [ugh] [hah]

SIDNEY CROSBY: You fight with the strength of many men, Sir Hal. I am Sidney, King of the Bitchers.

[pause]

I seek the finest and the bravest defencemen in the land to join me in my Court of Criesalot.

[pause]

You have proved yourself worthy; will you join me?

[pause]

You make me sad. So be it. Come, Evgeni.
HAL GILL: None shall pass.
CROSBY: What?
GILL: None shall pass.
CROSBY: I have no quarrel with you, good Sir Hal, but I must beat you to win another Cup.
GILL: Then you shall die.
CROSBY: I command you as King of the Bitchers to stand aside!
GILL: I move for no man.
CROSBY: So be it!

[hah] [parry thrust]

[CROSBY chops GILL's right leg while knocking him down on a Pens PP]

CROSBY: Now stand aside, worthy adversary.
GILL: 'Tis but a scratch.
CROSBY: A scratch? Your leg's off!
GILL: No, it isn't.
CROSBY: Well, what's that then?
GILL: I've had worse.
CROSBY: You liar!
ANDREI MARKOV: Come on you pansy!

[hah] [parry thrust]

[CROSBY'S COHORT COOKE chops MARKOV's right leg off]

CROSBY: Victory is mine! [kneeling] We thank thee Lord, that in thy merc-

[hah]

GILL: Come on then.
CROSBY: What?
GILL: Have at you!
CROSBY: You are indeed brave, Sir Hal, but the fight is mine.
MARKOV: Oh, had enough, eh?
CROSBY: Look, you stupid bastards, you've got no legs left.
JAROSLAV SPACEK: Yes we have.
CROSBY: Look!
GILL: Just a flesh wound.

[bang]

CROSBY: Look, stop that.
JOSH GORGES: Chicken! Chicken!
CROSBY: Look, I'll have your buddy's other leg as well. Right! Kunitz!

[whop]

GILL: Right, I'll do you for that!
CROSBY: You'll what?
GILL: Come 'ere!
CROSBY: What are you going to do, bleed on me?
GORGES: I'm invincible!
CROSBY: You're a loony.
MARKOV: The General always triumphs! Have at you! Come on then.

[whop] [CROSBY crosschecks an already dizzy SPACEK]

GILL: All right; we'll call it a draw.
CROSBY: Come, Cookie.
GILL: Oh, oh, I see, running away then. You yellow and black bastards! Come back here and take what's coming to you. I'll bite your legs off!