Thursday, December 3, 2009

Habs vs. Sabres - The Hope They Use Lube Edition

Notes on the third:

-I think it'll be nice for Gainey to be able to work full-time at his Foundation.

-Where the hell was *this* team in the first period?

-So that's why Gorges plays goalie so often...he's actually a better goalie than the guys in the masks on some nights.

-Et le but! Good on ya, Josh.

-Okay. THIS tonight. After the TO humiliation. What further signs do they need from the hockey gods to make them deep-six the Hubris Fest tomorrow? Honestly, this team has lost four straight games and will likely not make the playoffs. Unless...maybe tomorrow's pre-game ceremony will feature all the current centres licking Jean Beliveau's shoes. And all the current goalies kissing Patrick Roy's ass. And all the current defencemen grovelling at Larry Robinson's feet. In that case, I'm tuning in. THAT would be a fitting ceremony.

-I think, when I'm old, I'd like to have a dog instead of the Habs. Unless they've figured out how to not suck by then.

-I wonder if any of them feel guilty when they see the deposits in their bank accounts? I doubt it.

-Mara fought at the end just to get the hell off the ice.

-And the turd cherry on the crap pie...a goal with less than a minute to go WITH the goalie in. The Habs have reached new lows. Where does THIS fit into the hundred years guys?

-I can't wait to hear Cammalleri's comments tonight. "We didn't do our jobs." "We didn't show up." Lovely.

Notes on the second:

-I wonder what the Molson's marketing department is working on, in celebration of the Habs purchase? Maybe "Molson Enema," with a big Habs logo on the label?

-The heartbreaking thing is if they could get their act together now...assuming they have an act...they wouldn't be out of the running. Philly has all that firepower and only one more win.

-I don't know why the Buffalo fans are so excited. This is the equivalent of watching Oliver Twist get caught and hung. You want some more, Oliver? Do ya really?

-Isn't Lindy Ruff just the kind of coach you'd love to see in Montreal? If only he spoke the right language...

-I don't want to go all Carbo on his ass, but what the hell is Martin doing, putting the Chex Twins on with either Gomez or Pleks? They have NO GOALS between them. They were playing fine with Lapierre. I think the coach might give SK and Pax, who have actually shown some sense of being alive in the o-zone, a shot with a real, live NHL playmaker.

-Does anyone else find it sad that RDS's important happenings on this day in Habs history tend to end around 1976?

-I guess we're seeing why Gainey only signed Mara for a year. If PK Subban is going to make the jump next year, he'll have a spot.

-It's almost to the point now where you can watch in open-mouthed horror to see if the unthinkable happens. Will they be in the single digits in shots at the end of the night? Will they give up more than nine goals? How bad can it get? It's fascinating.

-The problem with Habs fans is we want to watch "Braveheart," but the only screen in town is playing "Amityville Horror."

-Plekanec's faceoffs have descended from decent to subterranian, for no apparent reason.

-I wonder if this muscle twitch in my left eye has anything to do with the Habs?

-Number 12 overall draft picks have been good. That's where the Sabres got Myers last year. Bryan Little from Atlanta was a 12. So were Marc Staal and Dan Hamhuis. Habs picked Ryan McDonagh at 12...oh, wait, never mind. Then again, I guess trading him to the Rags makes up for them picking Hugh Jessiman...with the distinction of being the only first rounder from the 2003 Super Draft to never play an NHL game...at number 12.

-What? Gomez scored? Because he was playing with a couple of guys who actually have some offensive ability? Jacques! I didn't know you read blogs!

-I hope whatever the hell self-romancing event the Habs have planned for tomorrow night is cancelled. Who are they kidding?


Notes on the first:

-Wow, Miller's numbers are spectacular.

-The Habs D is backpeddling faster than Stephen Harper on David Suzuki Night at a Greenpeace convention.

-Halak is in position, but he's got to steer those rebounds away. He's always cold in his first start after weeks on the bench.

-Mara doesn't seem to know what to do on the odd-man rushes. The D is supposed to give Halak the shot and take away the pass. They're giving him headaches and taking away his self-esteem.

-What the hell was O'Byrne doing, kneeling in front of Halak on the third goal while the open man was heading to the net for an easy redirect? Maybe he was praying for Markov's return. But Andrei Markov would have to be the lovechild of Jesus and Mother Nature to save this team.

-Pierre Houde is saying ay-yi-yi more than any of the players' names. Which isn't tough, since none of the Sabres hog the puck long enough to have their names announced and none of the Habs ever have it.

-Story of the period in microcosm: Tom Pyatt relieving the pressure in his own zone, streaks through the neutral zone all alone, only to have four Sabres converge on him, easily strip the puck and resume pressure in the Habs' end.

-The team is like an open sore now. It's bleeding and it hurts you, but you can't stop picking at it. I think it's starting to get infected.

-My friend is at this game for her birthday. I hope she didn't waste her wish yet.

-I'm starting to worry about Gomez' safety. Seriously, there are enough crazy-ass unemployed Habs fans out there to take exception to the the contract and the crappy play and take a pot-shot at him.

-Boy, this is a terrible hockey team at the moment. Whatever the hell happened to the plucky, beleaguered bunch who managed to keep their heads above water?

-I'm giving them five minutes in the second to see if they have a chance.

Ten To Zen

Breathe. In. Out. Close your eyes. In. Out. There. Feel better?

I do, because, like most of you, I've been forgetting to breathe in the general panic this season has become. We need to slow it down, breathe and remind ourselves about a few simple truths if we're going to survive until April while remaining semi-sane fans of the Montreal Canadiens. So, here are the ten rules for achieving Habs Zen before our heads explode:

10. Forget about Scott Gomez's salary. Yes, it's a ridiculous amount for a second-line centre. But it's there, it's real and grinding your teeth over it will not only fail to change it, it'll end up giving you outrageous dentist's bills as well.

9. Accept that Andrei Markov will not save the team. He's a great defenceman and he will help the transition game and the powerplay a lot. He'll be good for 25-30 points in the thirty-five games he's likely to play this season. But he will not singlehandedly turn the Habs into a contender. Hoping he can will only lead to more frustration and a bigger emotional crash in March when becomes apparent Markov is not God.

8. Latendresse and Chipchura are gone. Stop freaking out every time one of them puts up a point for their new teams. Similarly, Koivu, Kovalev, Souray, Streit, Ryder, Tanguay, Lang and Schneider are playing for other teams and aren't coming back, so stop asking "what if?"

7. Carey Price and Jaro Halak are both good, young goalies who have yet to establish themselves as bona fide NHL stars. Stop losing your mind every time one of them lets in a "questionable" goal. Every goalie in the league lets in goals they maybe should have stopped. We need to stop analyzing every goal allowed. And we need to stop arguing about how one goalie is the real saviour while the other one should be traded.

6. Andrei Kostitsyn will never be Getzlaf, Perry, Parise, Carter or Richards. But he is a talented player who's working on improving his game. Let the 2003 draft go.

5. Mike Cammalleri, Tomas Plekanec, Carey Price, Brian Gionta and Andrei Markov are good players. Enjoy them and stop wishing for them to be bigger, taller, faster or Frencher.

4. Ryan O'Byrne, Max Pacioretty, Ryan White, Josh Gorges and Sergei Kostitsyn are all still developing and showing signs of improvement. Hope for them.

3. Stop watching/listening to/reading inflammatory rhetoric about the team. It's bad for the stomach and gives you unsettling dreams.

2. Stop stressing about what Bob Gainey's up to. We cannot mentally push him into signing Plekanec, trading Gomez or dumping Laraque, no matter how hard we concentrate on bending him to our will. It's best to let Bob be Bob, and just relax since we can't do a damn thing about it anyway.

And the number one piece of advice for finding peace and enlightenment as a Habs fan this year:

1. Leave the past in the past. The team is never going to be as good as it was in the '50s, '60s or '70s. The navel-gazing, self-congratulatory Centennial ends tomorrow, and with it the past can be laid to rest for a while. That means it's time to stop looking back and begin to look forward. This applies to the team's management as well as its fans. We've lived on memories long enough. Now we have to find the good in the future and focus our attention there.

And don't forget to breathe. In. Out. In. Out. Good luck, and may your head remain intact no matter what happens with the Habs in the next four months.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Truth and Reconciliation

Steve Shutt did a lot of good things for Habs fans in his day. The latest was yesterday, when he made a fan who's never come to terms with the worst trade in Habs history understand that something good actually came out of it after all.

On this date 14 years ago, my Habs-fan heart was broken. My hero, the player who made me love the Canadiens and all the history, passion and triumph they stood for, was forced to stand before the world in abject humiliation until he finally exploded in anger. When Patrick Roy and Mario Tremblay had their ultimate showdown in that 11-1 loss to Detroit, a chasm opened between the Habs of the past and what would become the team of the future.

After the total disbelief of The Trade wore off, the bitterness of watching him succeed in someone else's uniform set in. It was all made so much worse by the failure of the players who arrived in exchange for him to be him. The Canadiens and I had a very rocky relationship throughout the late nineties.

Even recently, when the debate about whether his sweater should be retired arose, The Trade and all the emotion around it coloured the views of many fans. But when the team made the decision to do it last year, and the ceremony happened so beautifully, things started to feel a little better. Some of the regret slipped away when I watched him out there, smiling, back home again.

Yesterday, I had a conversation that really puts it to rest for me at last. I was talking with Steve Shutt about the upcoming Centennial game on Friday night (more about that here on Friday.) I remembered he'd been the assistant coach on that wretched night fourteen years ago, so I asked him about his memories of it.

As he recalls it, there were many factors involved in the decision to keep Roy in the net. Tremblay's irritation with his star goalie's personality might have played a small part, but when it came down to it, leaving Roy in the game was simply a bad decision.

"The first period, I think we were down about three nothing, and Mario came back and said should we pull Patrick," says Shutt. "I said no, he's probably the only guy playing well for us at that point in time. I said, go in there and give those guys hell, wake'em up and let's get going here. I said we'll go and get a goal and scratch our way back into the game. So we went out in the second period and we got about four penalties in a row and it was bang, bang, bang. It was five-nothing, six-nothing. And then it was a matter of when do we pull Patrick? Was there mistakes made? Of course, there was mistakes made. They should have pulled him aside and asked him what he wanted to do. And that's kind of what happened."

That game, believes Shutt, was a catalyst for events that had been building long before December 2.

"My understanding is that Serge(Savard), before he was let go at the start of the year, was looking to move him. Don't forget, Patrick at that point in time...we'd not made the playoffs one year and went to the first round in the next year with him," Shutt recalls.

But the former all-star and coach believes the move was necessary one...for Roy.

"I think it's tough being an icon in Montreal, and that's what he was at that point in time," says Shutt. "It wasn't just hockey, it was everything. I think the best thing for his career was to move to Denver and just go back to being a hockey player. And it revived his career and he played great."

I honestly had never thought about The Trade in that context. Shutt thinks a player of Roy's stature could only withstand the pressure cooker for so many years before burning out, and the coaches suspected that point had arrived for him in Montreal. He says without that move, there's no telling how much longer Roy could have stayed on top of his game. But things weren't looking good for him at the time.

It makes sense to me, especially taking into consideration the fact that Roy was the longest-serving goalie in Montreal since Jacques Plante. In light of that theory, I think I've finally put The Trade away in its little box with all the other heartbreaks the Habs have dished out over the years. Shutt thinks Roy deserved to be traded; not because he was bad, but because he was good.

"Patrick's a special type of person. He's a battler and a fighter and that's what made him so great," he says. "With these guys it's always tough because they're on a different level than anyone else. You got him, you got Lafleur, you got Rocket. Those type of guys. They played with a lot of fire. And you gotta handle them a little bit different than everyone else."

Patrick Roy seems happy with the way his career worked out after Montreal. His number has taken its rightful place in the rafters in the Bell Centre. So maybe it's time to let it go at last. The final, lingering anger I have about it now is the poor return the Canadiens got for their heart and soul. According to Michel Roy's book, Savard was working on a trade for a young Owen Nolan and Stephane Fiset before he got fired. Rejean Houle ended up trading Roy for Jocelyn Thibault, Andrei Kovalenko and Martin Rucinsky. Either way, getting Nolan's 279 goals since the 1996, or the combined 311 of Rucinsky and Kovalenko, it wasn't enough.

The Trade crippled the Canadiens for more than a decade because the Habs didn't get enough talent to compensate for the loss of Roy. But I can see now it didn't cripple Roy or his career. That's something to be grateful for, on an anniversary most of us would rather forget. So, thanks, Shutty, for that.

leafs vs.Habs - I Hate These Jerks Edition

Notes on the third:

-This team sucks. If it can't win a vital game against the leafs, it's bad. When they don't show up, it's doomed. That is all.

-P.S. The weakass backhand flip up the boards on an attempted clear is the worst play in hockey.

-P.P.S. Owned by the leafs. Congratulations on the Centennial week, Habs. I expect more of the same as the Hubris Train pulls into the Hundred-Year Station.


Notes on the second:

-Have the Habs slain the Monster?

-Memo to Carey Price: Stay in your net! You are NOT Brodeur, and this dramatic passing is going to bite you in the ass.

-Colton Orr? When did he become a Habs killer?

-If Achilles had a weak spot in the heel, Pleks has a weak one in the faceoff circle. He's got to fight harder for the draws. He was over 50% with zero confidence last year, so something weird has happened to him.

-Pierre McGuire homoerotic comment of the period: Who is Mike Komisarek? What does his package mean to the team?

-The Montreal Canadiens: A hundred years of glory. Tanking for glory for the next hundred.

-If I wrote a letter to Santa and asked for a Cup, do you think he'd answer?

-Don't the Bell Centre fans realize when they boo the Habs they're making the traitor and Grabovski happy?

-Habs are fanning more than a black maid in Gone With the Wind.

-The good thing about drinking during games is if they lose, you're too drunk to care during and too hungover to care after.

-I see a gradual dawning that the team realizes it's sucking really hard. Will it make a difference? Stay tuned, if you have a strong stomach.



Notes on the first:

-All the pre-game stuff made me really proud to be a Habs fan. I wish this team could be *those* guys just one more time.

-Habs/leafs games just aren't enjoyable. They're nothing but compressed stress, like the caffeine in Red Bull. A whole lot of angst in a little can, waiting to explode.

-The puck's bouncing more than Dolly Parton on a treadmill.

-If Chipchura can't clear his own zone against the leafs, I expect him to be real up close and personal with the waiver wire soon.

-McGuire Homoerotic Comment of the Period: Mara has no backside coverage and the leafs take advantage.

-If they're gonna fight, I'd like 'em to celebrate the old days with a good old-fashioned bench clearing brawl. Let Carey beat up the Monster!

-Speaking of whom, it might be the only win Price gets tonight. It seems he's gone back to his traditional one crappy goal per game routine.

-Stupid leafs are laughing after the second goal. Can our guys not SEE that? Jeff Finger? You've got to be kidding me.

-Random thought of the period: I wonder if anyone ever gets a goal and an assist, then picks a fight, just so they can have the Gordie Howe?

-That was a worse period than the Dark Ages. Cue the comeback. Right?

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Make Or Break

I don't know about you, but I'm really proud of the Habs so far this year. They've been without their best player all season, as well as up to eight of the guys who had regular spots to start the campaign. Tomas Plekanec and Carey Price faced huge questions about whether they'd be able to rebound from bad performances last season. The entire team had to answer the 64-thousand-dollar query: would the Gainey-gutted squad find some kind of cohesion within itself before the competition got too big a head start?

Happily, Plekanec and Price have answered the bell admirably. They're both playing some very strong hockey, particularly Plekanec, who's been the soul of consistency all season. The team also seems to have found the elusive chemistry it was looking for to start the year. Passing is improving, breakouts are getting a little better and the PK has improved substantially since October. Early season underperformers like Maxim Lapierre, Max Pacioretty, Andrei and Sergei Kostitsyn and Price have come around and look like they're catching on to what Martin wants from them. Newcomers Travis Moen and Jaro Spacek, rookies Tom Pyatt and Ryan White and the resurgent Roman Hamrlik and Glen Metropolit have all done their part to help the team win. Off the ice, everyone seems to be getting along okay, and the personalities Gainey's introduced to the room appear to have the right mix of guts, determination and a strong work ethic.

The doubts about whether the team can play have been put to rest. Now the question is, can the Habs get enough points in the bank to make the playoffs? This month is going to go a long way toward determining if the team we love in December will still be around to be loved in May.

The remaining Canadiens have been holding the fort well in the absence of so many regular players, and most of us have bought into the idea that if they can stay at .500 until Markov comes back, everything will be fine. I'm not so sure about that.

Looking at the numbers, you can see the Habs have 26 points in 26 games to date. In most seasons, an eighth-place team racks up an average of about 94-95 points and is between 8-10 games over .500. If the Habs maintain their current pace, and if Andrei Markov returns in early January as hoped, they will have 45 points in 45 games at that point. That leaves 37 games in which they'll have to make up at least 50 points. If they can remain at .500 until Markov comes back, they'll need to pick it up to about a .677 clip for the remainder of the season. It'd have to be a 25-12-0 record, or any combination of wins/loser points that tallies up to fifty points.

I've no doubt Markov's return will help the Habs, but you have to assume it'll take him a few games to get back into top form after not having played for nearly a year. And we have to remember, Markov is a premier defenceman but he's not God. He will improve the PP, the transition game and, hopefully, goals against, but his teammates will have to be at the tops of their games as well. If any of the major players slump or if the injuries to important team members continue, Markov's return alone won't be enough of a boost to make the team win the sheer number of games it will have to win to get a playoff berth.

So I think this month is really going to be make or break. The points that go in the bank now take some of the pressure off when Markov comes back. It's not going to be easy though. The month features 17 games, including four sets of back-to-back matches...none of which see the opposing team having played the night before..., seven games against division rivals, a shortened Christmas break of only two days, and a seven-game road trip. It's by far the toughest month of the season. If the Habs can come out of this month at something a little better than .500, I like their chances of landing a playoff spot. If, on the other hand, they either stay at .500 or worse, under it, the post-season may just be a wistful dream of what might have been, if only...

In the meantime I'm proud of what the Habs are doing so far. They just need to do it in a way that racks up the points a little bit faster. I'm having fun watching them, but I'm afraid they're going to run out of time. It's going to be a tough December. Let's hope it's a good one.

Hey! A Contest!

Well, I'm not much into self-promotion as you can probably tell by the lack of ads or anything on here, but I had an email today from a site that's running a contest for fans of Canadiens-themed blogs. You get to pick your top nine favourite blogs and they compete against each other for bragging rights. Somehow these guys heard of The H...and added it to the list.

So, if you read a lot of Habs blogs and you'd like to cast your vote, you can do it at:

http://thenhlarena.com/index.php?showtopic=117057

I don't expect to win the thing...there are too many really good Habs bloggers out there. I read and respect a lot of them, and I think it'd be nice to go and show your support for the ones you like. Most of the bloggers do it for the love of the Habs and don't get anything out of it other than the pleasure you take in their writing. And who knows? You might discover a blog you don't read yet, that could become your new favourite!

Authority Always Wins

When I watched Travis Moen get called for a non-existent headshot on Rick Nash last week, just seconds after failing to draw a penalty when Nash slammed him face-first into the boards right in front of a ref, I started to wonder if there's possibly any truth to the Habs-fan paranoia that officials treat the Canadiens unfairly. Then I dismissed the idea, because there's nothing more whiny or unsportsmanlike than blaming a team's losses on bad officiating. It's the easiest thing to say and the hardest thing to prove, and every team's fans think their favourites get the worst of the ref's mistakes.

The impression stayed with me though, as I watched the Penguins game on Wenesday, and as I thought back on some of the other incidents of missed calls that would have favoured the Habs, and phantom calls that went against them. To put the matter to rest I decided to look at the numbers, and there it was, in black and white.

The Canadiens get an average of 3.04 PP opportunities each game, for a total of 76 man advantages in twenty-five games this season. That's the fewest power plays in the league. Ottawa also has had 76 PP chances, but in two fewer games, for a total of 3.30 power plays per game. After those two teams, it's not even close. Dallas has had 118 power plays this year, Carolina 112 and Pittsburgh 109.

While the Canadiens don't seem to draw many penalties, on the other side of the sheet...taking penalties...they're close to the top of the league. In terms of total penalty minutes per game, the Habs don't fare too badly. They're fifteenth overall, with a total of 13.6 minutes in the box each night. But a closer look at the penalty breakdown tells a different story. The Habs have been handed 126 minors, fourth-most in the league. Their thirteen major penalties are very modest compared to Calgary's league-high 27, so most of the Canadiens penalties come in the form of discretionary minors.

In looking back over the Habs' first twenty-five games, the team has taken 64 more penalties than it's drawn. That's the biggest differential in the league. Only Ottawa and Philadelphia (the league's most penalized team) are close, with differentials of -61 each. Three teams, Detroit, New Jersey and Nashville have more PPs than PKs. Most other teams range anywhere from a -1 to a -40 differential.

There's no question the Habs get a lot more penalties called against them than they get power plays. So, I started to wonder why that's happening. I looked at the referee pairings for each Habs game, and there's no outstanding pattern. No ref has worked more than three Habs games all season, but the penalty result is the same. Only three times in twenty-five games have the Canadiens had more PPs than their opponent. All three were home games, but there were six different refs involved. I see no connection with particular officials who might have it in for the Habs.

So, having eliminated the possibility of a referee bias as a cause, I looked at the typical reasons why teams draw penalties and, conversely, take them. Usually teams will draw penalties if they're skating hard, forcing the other team into hooks and holds, trips and crosschecks. With the exception of a couple of notable games, the Habs have been hustling. They've been going to the net and they've been using their speed in the offensive zone. I see no reason why the Canadiens should fail to draw more penalties than they do.

In terms of the penalties they take, however, it's possible the lack of mobility and strength on the back end with the extended absences of Markov and O'Byrne has played a role. If a D is caught up ice, or is overmatched, he'll end up taking a penalty to illegally accomplish what he can't within the rules. The fact that the two most penalized Habs, by a fair margin, are Hal Gill and Paul Mara would seem to back that up.

But taking penalties because the D is overmatched doesn't explain why the forwards aren't drawing more when they're pressuring the other team's defence, unless they're not really pressuring the other team much at all. The Canadiens scored first in ten of their twenty-five games, winning nine of them, which would indicate at least a strong start on many nights. The goals are few and far between most of the time though. The Habs are 27th in the league in goals scored per game. That's either an indication there's not enough talent in the lineup to score more, or a reflection of all the injuries the team has sustained, either of which could mean there's not much Canadiens pressure on the opposing net that would force the opposition into penalties. But that guess can be debunked as well, when you consider that the three teams that have scored less goals than the Canadiens per game have smaller penalty/power play differentials. Nashville is actually one of the three teams that get more powerplays than penalties, yet they score less often than the Habs.

Whatever the reason for the Canadiens' failure to draw penalties, it's a big problem. With games so often decided by special teams, taking nearly twice as many penalties as power plays it gets puts a team at a decided disadvantage. It makes the penalty killers work harder and keeps the scorers on the bench for longer. I'm sure there's a deeper analysis of the problem going on in the Canadiens' coach's room. If there's not, there should be, and the sooner the better. This is costing the Canadiens games, and with the parity in the standings, losing games now could very well mean losing a playoff spot later.