Bruins Drink Habs Bathwater

The organ in the Bell Centre is a treat. That's a fan's addition, so thanks to Geoff Molson.

Okay, sometimes Subban just spins for the hell of it.

Gill handles the puck like a live grenade, but a lucky post keeps Peverley off the board.

Is Martin supposed to be The Count or The Penguin for Halloween?

Cole's driving the net like a transport truck.

I swear to God if Darche starts this PP, I'm getting a Jacques Martin voodoo doll and a box of straight pins.

Okay. There's irony for you. Plekanec with the point-shot goal, with Darche screening Rask.

If you're going to score your first of the season, launching the puck hard enough to leave a vapour trail is a good way to do it.

Is it my imagination, or are the Habs winning more puck battles then they used to?

Great stop on Kelly. Price's game is tighter than a sphincter tonight.

Funny how the Bruins harass Subban in Boston to please their cretinous fans, but never go near him in Montreal.

Desharnais is smoother than a wax job and quicker than a lecher's hands.

Liking how animated Cunneyworth is behind the bench after the Eller gaffe. Somebody on that staff needs to have a pulse.

Glad to see the refs calling them like they see them, instead of trying to even things out with BS makeup calls.

5-on-3. Let's hope Gill's ten-foot stick has come to play.

Habs leading scorer Moen seems to have cooled off.

One thing I like about this year's Habs is that they jump on turnovers like sharks on blood.

Martin's Halloween costume might be uncertain, but Julien's Mr.Potato Head outfit is perfect. Cool of him to dress up for the weekend.

Okay...offically wicked: The organist is playing the '80s Habs anthem, "Bleu, Blanc, Rouge."

Pleks with the empty-netter to seal it. Anyone think he's got a bit of a grudge against these guys?

Bruins Are Still Cheap and Dirty

Not a great time to punch Krejci in the face, P.K. I'm not saying don't punch him in the face, but pick a better spot.

If Travis Moen had a bouquet for every fabulous chance he's blown, he could have decorated Westminster for the Royal Wedding.

Subban's getting the puck off his stick so quickly tonight the Bs fans hardly have time to get a good boo going.

Spacek and Weber are harmonious a pair as Ike and Tina...the later years.

Dumb penalty by Nokelainen. Fourth liners should be seen and not heard.

Terrible goal against for Price. That casual stance thing he's been doing this year really burned him there.

Anybody missing Scott Gomez lately? Me neither.

The Habs are more susceptible to an aggressive forecheck than a teenaged boy is to Megan Fox in a bikini.

At this point, using Darche on the PP instead of Kostitsyn is plain negligence.

Erik Cole tips better than Deep Throat to Woodward and Bernstein.

Price is so into this game. Loved the fist pump after stoning Peverley.

Subban's got to be smarter. He let Marchand taunt him into leaving his team with five D for nine minutes.

If the Habs are in contention for the Jennings this year, does Diaz get a share?

If I don't stroke out during a Habs/Bruins game, it's never gonna happen.

Watching Erik Cole try to clear his zone is like watching a three-legged dog try to run.

The always-classy Claude Julien is now sending Scott Thornton out to run Subban.

Tomas Plekanec is made of two parts steel wool and one part hockey juice.

Watching Hal Gill rush back to cover in his own end is like watching the Queen Mary heading out to sea.

Great shot of Cam Neely in the pressbox, watching the Bs get stymied by yet another Habs goalie.

Star light, star bright, Carey got his wish tonight.

A Glimmer of Hope

Well, it turns out the Habs' wretched losing streak was all the fault of Carey Price's pink pads. As soon as the goalie went back to his cowboy gear, he was...well...a cowboy in the net again.

Or maybe the fault belonged to Perry Pearn. With the assistant coach axed an hour before puck drop, Randy Ladouceur descended from the press box to run the defence and PK behind the bench. Both looked leagues better than they did under the guidance, or lack thereof, of Jacques Martin's best friend.

The wakeup call Martin should have received from Pearn's firing apparently wasn't received, though. Tomas Plekanec was still on the point on the PP, even though it doesn't work. Erik Cole finally got significant time with the man advantage (4:22), but only 9:11 at even strength. This a player who's been improving in each of the last several games, and who needs icetime to score. Thirteen minutes doesn't cut it.

Still, the Canadiens managed to win despite some of those decisions, in no small part because of Yannick Weber and Max Pacioretty. Weber played nearly 22 minutes of solid defence, made the team believe it had a chance when he wired the first goal with two seconds to go in the first, and ended the night with a plus-one rating. Pacioretty played despite the wrist injury he sustained against Florida, and racked up two goals (ironically, on wrist shots) and an assist. He also provided a big, aggressive presence with skill up front, which gave the Canadiens offence a different dynamic when he was on the ice.

Other promising signs from last night included Tomas Plekanec once again racking up a 56% success rate in the faceoff circle. David Desharnais was at 53%. The team scored a PP goal, which is a rare phenomenon so far this season. And Josh Gorges posted his fourth and fifth assists; a new level of offensive contribution for the blueliner. Andrei Kostitsyn, who's been working very hard this season despite limited ice time (including a joke of 0:29 on the PP last night)and shuffling linemates, went to the net and got the go-ahead goal halfway through the second. And the PK, which has been as porous as coral, kept the Flyers off the board.

So, despite some of Martin's ongoing baffling decisions, the Habs looked like they have had enough of the losing. We'll see tonight whether the Curse of the Pink Pads or the ghost of Perry Pearn were only temporarily exorcised.

Stanching the Wound: Flyers vs. Habs

How long before Hal Gill is minus a million?

If Jagr is going to salute after every goal, we'll soon be rooting for friendly fire to take him out.

TSN is ripping Moen a new one for his brutal coverage on the Jagr goal.
That's no way to respect the team's leading scorer!

So, Perry Pearn's gone. I guess if your right arm is gangrenous, the first thing you do is cut off your right hand.

Interesting. Egypt is selling itself as a great tourist spot. Does that mean if there's a coup at the Bell, marketers will see opportunity?

Weber's shot will be shown in super slo-mo so Bryzgalov can see it. Maybe the luck is changing. It's usually the other team that gets one late.

The Habs offence is full of more unrequited love than Dante and Beatrice.

What's wrong with Plekanec? I'm guessing his cootie catcher linemates.

Suddenly, the Habs have become aware of the fact that they have talent. LOVING Pacioretty.

Pacioretty's what a first-rounder looks like. Habs management should take note.

Well, I bet Perry Pearn's loaded. Wherever he is.

A Cry In the Wilderness

Photo courtesy of Josie Gold.


The Scene: A lonely mountain top, somewhere in downtown Montreal. A weary pilgrim beseeches his Lord for answers.

Jacques Martin: Lord, I have arrived at the end of my rope. I need answers, and I need them soon, or I will lose the only job I ever really wanted.

Silence

Martin: Lord. I beg you to give me the answers I need. I'm listening.

Wind whistling

Martin: (nearly shouting) Lord! Can't you hear me?! I'm a desperate man!

The Almighty: Yes, Jacques, I can hear you. (sighs)
Martin: Oh, thank...well...You.
The Almighty: So, Jacques, what exactly do you want Me to do for you?
Martin: Well, Lord, I've lost control of my team. I need to know how to get them to listen again.
The Almighty: Jacques, did I not give you Erik Cole?
Martin: Yes, Lord, but...
The Almighty: NO BUTS! (lightning flashes) I gave you my son Erik because he will drive the net and help insulate your small forwards. Yet, instead of using him for the purpose for which I created him, you are wasting him on the bench.
Martin: Oh Lord, but Mathieu Darche...
The Almighty: SILENCE! Mathieu Darche is a loyal and industrious servant, but when I was giving out talent, he was in the looks line. He does the best he can with what he's got, but you can't replace Me-given talent. Look what happened when you actually put Cole on the power play last night.
Martin: Lord, our defence is so depleted, there's not much I could do...
The Almighty: Excuses, Jacques! Every team's got injuries. Look at the Penguins. My son Sidney and most of his talented cohort were missing when you played them, but they controlled the play because they all know what they're supposed to do. Communication, Jacques. Did I not give you a brain and a tongue?
Martin: It's not my fault we're shorthanded so often, though, Lord.
The Almighty: You can't pass the buck on this one. You've already taken three too-many men penalties. That's because My children have no clue when they're supposed to be on the ice, or who they're supposed to be on with. If you stop scrambling the lines like eggs, you might see a difference in these things.
Martin: Lord, I'm trying to put the right forwards out there, but they keep shooting right into the goalie. I don't know how to make them score.
The Almighty: I know it's difficult for you to admit you don't know something. In this case, only I know the answer. It turns out goalies pray more.
Martin: Praying might help us?
The Almighty: Not really. It gets repetitive. Look, Jacques. You're asking a fast, skilled and not overly physical team to play a dump-and-chase, shutdown game. Let Me see, how can I explain this? It's like asking the Queen to mud wrestle.
Martin: Oh.
The Almighty: Yes. Oh. Now, there's nothing more I can do for you today. I've got an urgent call from Ilya Bryzgalov.
Martin: Lord?
The Almighty: (sighs) Yes, Jacques?
Martin: Um, is there any chance I can save my job?
The Almighty: There is a chance. All things are possible with Me. You must repent and put The System behind you. You must use the players I have given you properly and you must lay off the Brylcreem. It went out in the '60s.
Martin: Yes Lord. I'll try.
The Almighty: Do that Jacques. Oh, and Jacques?
Martin: Yes, Lord?
The Almighty: I'm...uh...sorry about the ears. That was an accident. Good luck!

And the Suck Rolls On - Panthers vs. Habs

That was a beautiful point shot by Diaz. See what happens when there are two real Ds on the PP? Hope Penguin was taking notes on that.

Hal Gill can go from 0-2 in 60 seconds flat.

Desharnais between Pacioretty and Cole is like a shrimp salad sandwich.

NASA can rest easy about cancelling the shuttle program. They can always send stuff to the International Space Station on a Budaj rebound.

Cammalleri talks a lot about not being small if you come out with the puck. I guess he's small then.

Shockingly, Darche is unable to make use of his silken hands to convert on the PP. Martin can't believe it.

Martin's like a line in Dryden's "The Game." Shutt to Jarvis in yet another gray-toned suit: "I didn't know drab came in so many colours."

Quick! Get the duct tape! Peter Budaj has sprung a leak!

The Habs in their own end look like they're fighting a strong cross wind.

PP goal now goes to Erik Cole. So, Penguin. Cole had only 3 PP goals in Carolina last year, but one on his first real PP chance in Montreal. Hope that's in the notebook.

Skille on against Skillsy.

Someone should tell the Habs they don't get extra points for making nineteen passes before they take a shot.

Budaj makes a great stop on the PK. Goalie controversy!

So far Budaj is holding the fort, but he's got to be the scariest Habs goalie since Aebischer.

Gill has his place, but he moves like an elephant dances and he's minus-two tonight.

One guy who's working his ass off for little reward: Andrei Kostitsyn.
Martin sees his job flashing before his eyes.

It always amazes me when Martin thinks a team that can't score on the PP will miraculously pump out a goal with the goalie out.

I wonder how long before the Occupy the Bell Centre movement either demands mass refunds or razes the place to the ground?

Step Right Up!

Photo courtesy of Josie Gold

The Canadiens season is rapidly becoming a carnival guessing game. How many clowns can fit into the tiny car? How much does the fat lady really weigh? How many games can the sucky hockey team lose before something gives? The popular guess is, not many more.

The Canadiens are in that position in which you know one more clown can't possibly squeeze into that car. The fat lady is 400 pounds and the Habs, at 1-6 to start the year, are spiralling into a void of suckage not seen since something gave...in a big way...in 1995. That year, the team started with a handful of losses and Serge Savard and Jacques Demers, Cup winners just two years previous, found themselves on the street. In considering that sequence of events, one might recall that neither Pierre Gauthier nor Jacques Martin has the luxury of resting on his Cup-winning laurels.

The terrible cycle in which the team is caught means they either keep the goals against low and can't score themselves, or they score enough to win, but give up more than they get. Carey Price has been good enough to win on most nights, but he's been waiting four games to get his hundredth win.

Every power play looks disorganized and fruitless; no surprise with Tomas Plekanec on the point and Mathieu Darche on the first wave. Scotty Bowman always says the trick to good coaching is having the right people on the ice at the right time. There's certainly a time and place for Darche, but first-wave PP is probably not it. Erik Cole hasn't done squat in a Habs uniform, so maybe a coach should think about jump-starting him with some PP time. Perhaps a good coach should recognize that Tomas Plekanec, who's got a cannon off the rush, doesn't have quite the same shot on the point. Maybe a successful coach would recognize that there are better shooters and Plekanec's skills are in making sneaky passes and setting up the guy who's willing to break for the net.

Cole's a story unto himself. After a less-than-stellar stint in Edmonton, and a bounce-back on his return to Carolina, there was great concern at the time of his signing in Montreal that he only plays well with Eric Staal. As a heart-and-soul kind of player, he's got to be willing to sacrifice himself to play his game properly. It was clear when he signed that he came to Montreal for the money, and while nobody would accuse him of not trying, he can't make himself love his new team the way he did his old one. It's got to happen naturally, and it hasn't happened yet. The Habs need what he can bring, but he's not bringing it.

Then there's the defence, or what's left of it. The three guys with fewer than 100 NHL games between them are holding up surprisingly well. It's their experienced teammates who are making the most egregious errors. Josh Gorges alone has been directly responsible for two dreadful mistakes that have led to backbreaking goals. P.K.Subban's getting denuded by Paul Stastny is still fresh in our minds as well. It's not really their fault. Gorges is meant to be a 3-5 defenceman and he's essentially playing top minutes at the moment. We forget Subban's got one NHL season under his belt and Hal Gill has 1000 NHL games, but looks like he's 1000 years old half the time. Short of a trade, there's no help coming in the forseeable future, unless you consider Jaroslav Spacek your personal Jesus.

If there's one positive from the most recent disappointment, it's that the team is no worse with Scott Gomez out of the lineup. Lars Eller, in fact, did an excellent job in the second-line centre position. He set up Travis Moen (who sits in 11th spot in the league in goals scored) for a beautiful shorthanded goal in the first, and made a nice pass to Andrei Kostitsyn on his goal as well. He was also 56% on faceoffs and led the team with a plus-three rating. He killed penalties (but didn't get any PP time...that's Darche's spot, after all) and he used his size to make room for himself. The kid is going to be good, and if he keeps up this level of play in Gomez' continued absence, he'll be proving there's no need to hold onto the vastly underwhelming veteran.

That's a small comfort in the face of some very large problems. The Canadiens are rapidly approaching the point of "somthing's gotta give." The clown car is full.