A top ten

Top ten reasons I hate the series with the Flyers:

10. The smirking. I really, really hate the Orangemen foregoing all the rules of sportsmanship and laughing at the Habs while they're down. And freakin' Umberger, raising his arm to celebrate the empty-netter with two seconds to go. What an ass. If I were the Habs, I'd pull a Brodeur and refuse to shake any of their hands when this is over.

9. Biron. There has never been a goalie as lucky as this in life. I know the Habs are hitting him a lot, and he's seeing most of the shots. BUT, he's stopping pucks when he has absolutely no idea where they are. He's benefiting from posts, crossbars and bad aim. His defencemen have pulled pucks out from behind him twice, and at least one shot has passed through the crease behind him when he didn't know where it was. There's good, and there's owing your soul to the devil. I'll leave it to Biron's conscience to determine which he is.

8. The feeling of inevitability. It's like watching a train frantically slamming on the brakes before it hits the car on the tracks. It's screaming and sliding, and doing its best, but you just know it's going to crush that car and there's not a damn thing the engineer or anyone watching can do about it.

7. The ulcers. Despite it all, I can't stop hoping for a better result. I feel like I'm watching a Roadrunner cartoon in which the bird runs by the same cactus twelve times, the scenery repeating over and over. The futile cheering is hurting my digestion.

6. The gloating. Non-Habs fans, which include ninety percent of the English-language media in the country are loving this, and getting their jollies dissecting it for the viewing/listening/reading public, of which I am an unfortunate part.

5. The unfairness. If the Habs were sucking, I'd say, fine...they deserve to lose. But they're not. They're trying hard and attempting to do all the things they did right all year. They don't deserve to be ousted so easily.

4. The bellyaching. Habs fans are gutting the team on paper, blaming one guy, then another for the losses. I know it's frustrating, but it's a team game. There's no need to hunt up a scapegoat.

3. The disappointment. After such a great year, I was really hoping for a semi-final appearance at least. It would help relieve the wounds of all the futility of the last fifteen years. I thought they should be able to beat the Flyers.

2. The lost sleep. I have to work early in the morning. Staying up to watch all these losses, then not being able to sleep afterwards is devastating.

And, the number one reason why I hate the series with the Flyers:

1. Saku Koivu. The man is made for the playoffs. He's tough and competitive and ramps up his game when everything's on the line. He's playing injured and still leading the team on and off the ice. When I think of some of the names that are on the Cup, while his is not, it just seems so unfair. He's given everything to this team, and each year they fail to win is one year closer to Koivu's retiring without ever touching the Cup he wants to win so badly. I know other great players have never won either...but after what Koivu's gone through in his career, it seems like a small thing to have him retire a winner. I just hope he can stick around until his team is mature enough to do it for him.