I've figured it out! I know why this year's Habs are so apathetic, and why they seem to be tired at the start of every game. It's not the coaching, or the attitudes of the players. It's not their skill level or their conditioning. It's their music.
Seriously. What are these guys listening to? Carey Price loves country music. Garth Brooks. Garth Brooks' words of inspiration include lines like: "...choose to chance the rapids, dare to dance the tide." Inspiring? Sure, if you're going to finish a novel or fight a deadly disease. But maybe not so much if you're planning to stare down a guy who's 6'4" and 220 pounds and is coming at you at twenty-five miles an hour with the intention of either putting the puck past you or through you.
Hockey players also seem to love Nickelback. Words of inspiration include "Saturday night's alright," and "I'm gonna trade this life for fortune and fame..." Yeah. That's inspiring alright. Makes me want to go straight to the prom.
Whatever happened to rousing renditions of "Highway to Hell" and "We're Not Gonna Take It?" What about "Eye of the Tiger?" I think the Habs were better in the eighties because they had better music. Sure, it was hokey and loud, but it was built for sports. There's a reason why arena DJs are still playing those songs during breaks in play today: they pump people up and make you want to cheer for some hockey.
So, maybe it's time for Breezer and his eighties metal collection to take over the music player in the room. At this point, it can't hurt. And maybe a little Twisted Sister or AC/DC might pump them up better than Garth does. I think we're at the point where they need to try anything to get some life in that room. Cause we're not gonna take it...