Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Top Ten Carey Price Excuses For Not Signing

As August rolls along, the Canadiens are thinking about the coming season. There was a nice interview with Josh Gorges on RDS today, discussing his anticipation of getting back on the ice. Training camp will be here in just a few weeks and the contenders for lineup spots are just about set. All except one. Carey Price remains a restricted free agent and the number-one goalie slot is glaringly empty. This has many Habs fans, already possible candidates for anti-depressant clinical trials, fighting each other for the best spots on the ledge. They really don't need to worry, though. Carey Price has legitimate reasons for why he's not signed his contract yet. Here are his top ten excuses:

10. My horse ate my contract.

9. I was mobbed by girls who wanted me to sign their boobs and one of them took my pen.

8. I took it into the sweat lodge to ponder it and it got all soggy.

7. I wanted my signing bonus in Molson's products, but my agent says ten percent of a 2-4 isn't good enough.

6. I was in Church, asking God to send a hundred million moths to eat up my barber pole sweater and they got my contract instead.

5. I was out in the back country and I ran out of toilet paper.

4. I did sign it. I put "The Franchise," but the league said it wasn't valid.

3. I made a paper airplane out of it while I was sitting on the bench during the playoffs.

2. You know how I roll. I'll get to it. September's weeks away.

1. Na na na na na na na na, hey hey hey goodbye! PSYCH!!


Kevin aka "yathehabsrule" said...

Brilliant, J.T. as always.

Anonymous said...

Not ok. Real reason - he doesn't want to play in such an unforgiving and condescending town. Who could blame him?

Jan said...

This was not one of your best efforts JT.

I like how you mention the good interview with Gorges on RDS but fail to mention the most important part of the interview in which Gorges says Price is very excited to play for the Habs and that he knows for sure Price will sign. It was also mentioned that Gorges will go train with Price in a couple of weeks.

People need to relax with this. Anyone ever think that maybe they just want to announce the signing later on in order to let Price focus on his offseason in peace?

I suspect they will announce the signing sometime near the golf tournament. That way there will be only one media frenzy about the signing that Price and the team will have to deal with.

Apparently, Gauthier is really keeping the media in the dark about everything since the draft, so why would he want to announce it now anyway?

J.T. said...

@Jan: I think you may have missed the point. It's not supposed to be an actual critique about Price not signing yet. It's making a bit of fun of it for those who are freaking out about it. I'm not actually one of them.

V said...

JT... Gauthier may be purposely holding back news on Price so a few of those ledge-clinging fans you referred to are prompted to jump.

This tempest in a teapot that is Price signing has loosened buckets of ink over a dull summer and helped keep the Canadiens top of mind. The collective sigh of relief when he signs will also help paper over any sigificant problems with the contract.

Jan said...

My mistake then JT. Sometimes sarcasm doesn't always get across over the Internet.

And, for the record, I enjoy most of your blogs. You certainly are passionate about the Habs and are a good writer. I don't always like your humourous blogs, but I did particularly enjoy the "Name that Captain" entry. I thought that one was great.

pfhabs said...


-the frenzy created by some people including some media is just beyond foolish. some speculate that Price no longer wants to play in Montreal; wants a long term contract, wants huge cash, is immature, yada yada yada...just wondering is it legal to spray an entire city with a little valium ?

-Habs Inside Out minutes ago has posted the negotiations update and all is as it should be in the universe of negotiations

DB said...

A couple of comments on Price/Halak:

1. To those who think Price should have been signed befoe Halak was traded. Do you really think Price would have signed before the market for Halak dried up. The teams rumoured to be interested in Halak addressed their goalie issues by July 1st.

2. To those who think Montreal could have gotten more for Halak by creating a market for him. You mean like the hot market Burke has created for Kaberle?

3. Anyone who thinks they know the reasons Price hasn't signed yet should put their psychic abilities to better use - pick the winning 6/49 numbers

Anonymous said...

I'm thinking #5 is the real reason.

PA not from PA said...

With time passing, I wonder if they may just be waiting for the Kovalchuk issue to be settled, just to know at what extent they could bend the contract to fit the cap.

Anonymous said...

How cares when he signs his contract. July 1st or Sept 12th. The Habs have no size,no toughness. There is a list of guys in the East that will try to intimidate the Habs. Who on the Habs is going to take care of Boogaard 4 time this season. Orr in Toronto. Zenopka on the Island. Lucic or Thornton in Beantown. Shelley plays for Philly this year. MLP,Moen and then who up front? O'Byrne and Suppan on the back end,then who? Pierre Gauthier in all his wisdom will manage the Habs to an 8th place finish with 88 points...same as it ever was...