Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Strike Back

The scene: a horse ranch in Northern British Columbia. A phone rings.

Carey Price: Hello?
Josh Gorges: Hey, Pricey. It's me.
Price: Gorgy! 'Sup, man? Lookin' forward to seeing you guys next week.
Gorges: Not too much happening on my end. You're making some news, though.
Price: No way! What's going on? Hey! Did they show my rodeo stuff on TV?!
Gorges: Yeah, yeah. You're a rodeo star. You're a real...

Price interrupts excitedly

Price: I'm getting better every time. I've won nearly seven hundred bucks this summer, you know.
Gorges: Yeah, well, I hope you can live on that.
Price: Huh?
Gorges: What's with all this talk about you holding out?
Price: Whoa! Holding out? Who the hell is saying that?
Gorges: Where've you been all summer? In the woods or something? Never mind, don't answer that. The papers are saying if you don't get three mill a year, you're going on strike. They're quoting someone very, very close to you.
Price: Oh man! This totally sucks.
Gorges: Carey, I have to ask, is there any truth to this? Best to spill now if there is.
Price: Jeez, Gorgy. Who died and made you captain? Ha ha!
Gorges: Seriously. We have to figure out how to deal with this. Who've you been talking to?
Price: Nobody, I swear. I dropped my phone in the horse trough when the season ended and I just got a new one on Monday. You and my agent are the only ones with the number. Hey, it wasn't you, was it? I'll have to go all Laraque on your ass.
Gorges: Ha ha! Good one! You know it wasn't me. What the hell did you say to your agent?
Price: Nothing, I swear. Just small talk, mostly. I told him the secret to calf-roping is to get out of the gate in three seconds or less and strike quick.
Gorges: Uh oh. What else?
Price: Well, um, he asked me about my ballgame the other night and I said I thought I had ball three, but they called me out on a strike.
Gorges: Okay, I'm starting to see a pattern here. Is that it?
Price: Pretty much. I said I downloaded the original three Star Wars flicks, and my favourite was the Empire Strikes Back. Oh, and I told him I was breaking a new colt and even though he threw me three times I didn't have the heart to strike him. Then we talked about my contract for a few minutes, and that was it.
Gorges: I think I see what went wrong. Here's what I think we should do...
Price: Gor...? You...break...up. Stup... phone. Got... ...ception up here. Wha... do? I mill... go on ...ike.
Gorges: Oh man! No wonder they say this team has communication problems. Pricey? Carey? Damn!


Anonymous said...

I don't know if Price is just very naive or not very bright. But even the most self involved individual had to realize he had some major PR work to do this summer. For Price to stay out West all summer on the rodeo circuit instead of in Montreal mending fences was just asking for trouble. He should have signed quickly, shown some humility and made himself available to the media working out vigorously. This is not a sign of a young man unaware of what is happening but more of a young man who feels he is above it all. It will take a miracle for this whole fiasco to turn out right for Price and the Habs.

Anonymous said...

Hey annon #1 - it could be a guy who just wants to get away and relax a big before coming back to a city like Montreal. Why do you think that he needs to stick around and kiss the asses of a bunch of people who send him death threats??

pfhabs said...

-yep, the ungrateful little schmuck should have stayed in Montreal, kissing every ass in town and proving that he was good enough and worthy to marry their daughters/sisters

-on top of that he should have signed the nano second Jaro was traded and for only the league minimum. that way he'd prove his love and alligence for the club, his teammates but most of all for the fans

-yep he should have done it for the fans. for all those fans that 'KNOW' he doesn't want to play in Montreal, that 'KNOW' he has no work ethic, that 'KNOW' he has no humility, that 'KNOW' he's only a money grubber propped up by former captain Bob....yep for all those fans that 'KNOW' all this without ever talking, spending time or even seeing the kid. amazing that the CH fan base is filled with so many f'ing savants.

-and you thought the media was full of disengenious, misinformed fools ?

-I always wondered what is the colour of the sky in the world of these fans ?

Anonymous said...

I think we all need to get a life. If or when he signs doesn't matter at all. If he does we don't have to pay him and if he doesn't there are lots of goalies for the Habs to choose from to replace him.

Anonymous said...

Hilarious, keep 'em comin

dishonest john said...

J.T. that was very well done. I really enjoyed that, that and pfhabs "savant" comment. Dead on.