Wednesday, September 2, 2009

You Know You're A Habs Fan When...Part Two

Last year I counted down the top ten ways you know you're a Habs fan. Since we're just a week away from rookie camp, in honour of surviving another summer without the Canadiens, here are the NEXT ten reasons why you know you're a Habs fan:

10. You automatically type "Canadien" instead of "Canadian" and have to constantly backspace to change the "e" to "a."

9. You make online trade proposals involving Tomas Plekanec bringing you Joe Thornton and Patrick Marleau in a trade, but at the same time you think he's not good enough to be the Habs' second-line centre.

8. You complain about a three-dollar overcharge on your cable bill, but $200 seats in the blues..for a Coyotes game...seem do-able.

7. Your bathroom reading material consists of The Hockey News' 2009-10 Yearbook, which falls open on the Habs page, the scouting reports on the top twenty prospects and Jean Beliveau's autobiography.

6. Your weekly lottery numbers are 33, 23, 19, 18, 10 and 4, because "they're winners."

5. You can't decide if catching your girlfriend in your buddy's bed or Mike Komisarek bolting to the leafs is the worse betrayal.

4. You drink only Molson's products since the family bought the team.

3. In your worst nightmare, the playoff format has changed and the leafs beat the Habs in game 7 of the Cup finals, in OT. Grabovski scores the winner, assisted by the traitor. In the nightmare's other variation, the leafs become the Bs and Begin scores the goal, on a feed from Lucic.

2. You sign emails with "GHG" and the people you're writing to know what that means.

And, topping the list, you know you're a Habs fan when:

1. The password on your bank account is "Price31" because "he's money."


HabsInBlood said...

Funny. I certainly don't need to pass any tests to be considered a Habs fan, but I implemented #4 as soon as the ownership announcement was made. We can only get Molson Canadian, Molson Ice, Molson Golden and XXX down here in Denver - not that I'm complaining. I stick to Canadian and Ice.

Do you stil have Export up there?

Darren Bifford said...

I'm as happy as the next guy that the Molsons won the war; but that's not enough to get me drinking their crappy beer.

yvresgyros said...

In Quebec City, they used to have that saying that you recognize real Montreal fans because they applaud when their team clears their own zone while being on a Power Play.
I shake my fist at you Quebec City, cause you nailed us right there.

Humberto said...

the fact that i agree with all of this and the only hockey game down here in phoenix i look forward to is the Habs coming to town, that says enough

Unknown said...

I agree with all the points, except the drinking Molson products. Just because they now have a majority stake is not reason enough to drink their beer. Number 10 has become a serious problem for me, because even the correctors on all my word processors think that Canadien is spelled like that.

The Stat Man

Scott in Montreal said...

@ HabsInBlood: yeah, we still have Ex up here, and in fact, that's what any bartender will serve you without a blink when you ask for "a Molson". That is marginally drinkable (with lunch, say), but since they also owns Alexander Keith's, I'll take their dark brew over any other Molson product any day.

That said, Montreal microbrewers MacAuslan and le Dieu du Ciel make the best Canadian beers I've ever tasted.

Humberto said...

also to add with someone else, just because molson owns them again doesnt mean i'll be drinkin their ass beer, i'll stick to my Glenlivet whiskey :)