Dear Team USA.
Congratulations on your Olympic gold medal. See, that's how civilized competitors respond to winning a closely-contested championship game. Unlike yourselves, they don't usually take the opportunity to party with unqualified, cross-eyed members of the ruling autocratic elite who think nothing of blowing taxpayers' money for frivolous personal gain. They also don't usually take phone calls from the malignant maggot currently squatting in the People's House and mock their compatriots who also won gold, but lack penises.
The fact that you thought it funny when the corrupter-in-chief made light of the women's hockey victory shows how very juvenile you really are. Not one of you thought to say "Hey, wait! These women are gold medalists too. They work just as hard as we do and deserve respect." No. You were too busy yukking it up with the yuckiest man on earth. And the fact that you, Connor Hellebuyck, accepted the honour of the Congressional Medal of Freedom for performing less well than your female counterpart, Aerin Frankel, while she was ignored shows how entitled and clueless you are.
The fact that you lowered yourselves to attending the State of the Union address by the most unfit, cruel, ignorant, racist, lying POS president of all time says more about your character than any gold medal ever will. That you likely voted for him shows you support the evil he stands for and have joined the clueless elite who have no idea how much he hurts the people who pay your extravagant salaries.
It's interesting that the women, who make a tenth of your money, decided to forgo the event. Some of them may have had prior commitments as they claimed they did, raising children and working day jobs to make ends meet, but some of them probably would rather eat rat poison than be anywhere near the orange pedo.
That some of you play and make your millions in Canada makes your decision to behave the way you did even more egregious. This country is regularly mocked and bullied by the White House Klan leader. At the very least, you could have considered the hand that feeds you before you glad-handed the creep.
To Bill Guerin in particular, thank you from the bottom of Habs-fans' hearts for not including Lane Hutson and Cole Caufield in your shit show of a team. We are so glad our young stars weren't tainted by the clique of pro bros you assembled. We'd like to think they would've been different; that they wouldn't laugh at the numpty-in-charge's lame sexist jokes but it's even better that we'll never have to find out.
Granny always said you can judge a person by the company they keep. By that measure, Team USA, you'd be ranked as dumb goons. You chose to be feted by a racist, sexist, ridiculous old man who finds joy in raping children. If that's the quality of the company you keep, your gold medals are worthless. If you can't win with grace and a modicum of class, you're worthless too.
Sincerely,
A disgusted Canadian hockey fan
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