Tuesday, November 17, 2009

'Canes vs. Habs - Who Sucks Less Edition

Notes on the third, OT and SO:

-How is it that the wretched Hurricane's cross-ice passes always land with perfect accuracy on the intended recipient's stick while the Habs' are so often intercepted? Could it be the CH has become the worst team in the NHL?

-I think the video coach needs to be fired. He's obviously not looking at this year's tapes.

-It's not good when the goalie has the best first pass this side of the blue line.

-Nice to see Latendresse ended his nap in time to appear awake in this one. He had at least two of his patented wraparound attempts which work approximately 1.4% of the time.

-If there's a Carolina firesale anytime soon, I'd happily take LaRose. He's got more balls than a bingo tumbler.

-Another measure of suckage: A goalie who was waived last year and had no team until last week looks like Roy in the playoffs with a grudge against the Habs.

-I hope the DCPD is on high alert for Friday, because the Habs are going to be murdered in Washington.

-Chernobyl Boy has awakened! Nice play by AK for his glorious SECOND goal of the season.

-Speaking of whom, Andrei'd absolutely KILL goalies who were 7'4".

-Spacek is like that nursery rhyme about the little girl: When she was good, she was very, very good. When she was bad, she was horrid. Tonight? Horrid.

-Hamrlik played the shift of his Habs life in OT.

-Thank God Lapierre is an idiot savant in the shootout.



Notes on the second:

-'Canes are just blasting into the Habs zone as though the D are actually holograms. In MAB's case, I'm not sure that's inaccurate.

-Watching this game, all I can think about is whoever's got Ovechkin in their pools will be getting a LOT of points in the next week or so.

-Good thing the Sutter boys got rich at hockey and managed to buy...I mean attract...some decent-looking women. The kid isn't the gargoyle his dad and uncles are.

-On the first 'Canes goal, Gorges looked like a guy who suddenly notices he's naked in a crowd. He doesn't know if he should cover his ass or his junk, and the moment of indecisiveness completely exposes him.

-On the second 'Canes goal, Spacek was like the blind guy in the crowd who doesn't notice he's naked and walks right through the room while everybody points.

-Plekanec is like Raphael forced to join the road-painting crew with Bubba and Zeke.

-Well, the good thing about this is Gainey's biggest decision this summer will be Taylor Hall or Tyler Seguin.

-Too bad hockey didn't end when the Habs were 99 years old.

-The only way you can tell the Habs are on a PP is because RDS has that little red Sup.Numerique bar under Montreal's name.

-Price is going to have to think about officially changing his first name to "The Beleaguered."

-This team reminds me of what you're supposed to tell your kid after he burns down your house by passing out drunk on the couch while waiting for his fries to cook: I don't hate you, but I hate your behaviour.


Notes on the first:

-If the Venus de Milo is looking for her stone hands, she should check Travis Moen's locker.

-When I was in high school, I took "environmental science." On the public exam was the question, "What is a lung?" The answer: "A lung is an organ that is affected by air pollution." This game is THAT kind of test. If you pass it, it's no big deal. If you fail it, your parents and the guidance counsellor admit you to rehab.

-Not to harp on the Gomez thing, but you really have to wish Gainey'd just waited to see how Plekanec would be playing this year before paying three times as much for a guy who doesn't put up as many points. Beautiful pass from Pleks to Pax. If the kid goes to the net, his improved play will pay off on that line.

-I think the problem with the D is they're literally afraid of the puck. Nobody has the confidence to just carry the damn thing out of the zone if necessary. They always look to pass and half the time get intercepted.

-Memo to Jacques the Knife: Please do not play MAB on the same shift as the Affirmative Action Twins. It's so much easier to just hand the puck over without pretending to fight it.

-Oh, and can someone tell the crowd chanting "GUI" at Latendresse as he puffs up-ice is as close to being sacreligious as crapping on the jersey? No wonder the Forum ghosts don't like the new place.

-When the 'Canes PK can clear the puck effortlessly, you know your powerplay is sucking harder than a hooker on commission.

-Looks like Pax got dumped hard just at the end there. Can't be good if he's already nursing an injury.

-Hmmm...not convincing. There was WAY too much Carolina pressure in that period.

4 comments:

David said...

"...a hooker on commission." -- lol! Where do get these things...

David said...

We just tied the worst team in the league with 2 mins left, and our fans are singing in ecstacy. Pretty sad...

LoupDogg said...

There are some games I love to miss, because I know your summaries will be even better than the real thing.

Le fan du CH said...

God, you always putting down MAB is as even as Brunet's putting down AK46....pathetic..sorry

Yesterday, Hammer gave about 10 turnovers...2 more then MAB..And the worst comment from Houde and Brunet " we should cut some slack to Hamrlik, he's playing a lot, that's why he's making more mistakes????" come on, the guys making over 5.5 Millions, it is normal to have your 2dn highest paid D playing the most is this not??