Monday, May 10, 2010

Python Meets the Habs' D

[arg] [ugh] [hah]

SIDNEY CROSBY: You fight with the strength of many men, Sir Hal. I am Sidney, King of the Bitchers.


I seek the finest and the bravest defencemen in the land to join me in my Court of Criesalot.


You have proved yourself worthy; will you join me?


You make me sad. So be it. Come, Evgeni.
HAL GILL: None shall pass.
GILL: None shall pass.
CROSBY: I have no quarrel with you, good Sir Hal, but I must beat you to win another Cup.
GILL: Then you shall die.
CROSBY: I command you as King of the Bitchers to stand aside!
GILL: I move for no man.
CROSBY: So be it!

[hah] [parry thrust]

[CROSBY chops GILL's right leg while knocking him down on a Pens PP]

CROSBY: Now stand aside, worthy adversary.
GILL: 'Tis but a scratch.
CROSBY: A scratch? Your leg's off!
GILL: No, it isn't.
CROSBY: Well, what's that then?
GILL: I've had worse.
CROSBY: You liar!
ANDREI MARKOV: Come on you pansy!

[hah] [parry thrust]

[CROSBY'S COHORT COOKE chops MARKOV's right leg off]

CROSBY: Victory is mine! [kneeling] We thank thee Lord, that in thy merc-


GILL: Come on then.
GILL: Have at you!
CROSBY: You are indeed brave, Sir Hal, but the fight is mine.
MARKOV: Oh, had enough, eh?
CROSBY: Look, you stupid bastards, you've got no legs left.
GILL: Just a flesh wound.


CROSBY: Look, stop that.
JOSH GORGES: Chicken! Chicken!
CROSBY: Look, I'll have your buddy's other leg as well. Right! Kunitz!


GILL: Right, I'll do you for that!
CROSBY: You'll what?
GILL: Come 'ere!
CROSBY: What are you going to do, bleed on me?
GORGES: I'm invincible!
CROSBY: You're a loony.
MARKOV: The General always triumphs! Have at you! Come on then.

[whop] [CROSBY crosschecks an already dizzy SPACEK]

GILL: All right; we'll call it a draw.
CROSBY: Come, Cookie.
GILL: Oh, oh, I see, running away then. You yellow and black bastards! Come back here and take what's coming to you. I'll bite your legs off!


Anonymous said...

Have you been drinking too?

Anonymous said...

haha this is priceless. The Canadiens need to produce this and put it on the Habstv section of their website.

Anonymous said...

I can't stop laughing when I think of Markov saying "have at you! Come on then." in a russian accent.

moeman said...

If only J.T. wasn't married... : )

HABS ALL THE WAY!!! said...

My Heart is PUMPING!!!

Anonymous said...

Haha, didn't read this before now, it's just brilliant. I so loved this scene in the original, and the text is just so fitting to the current situation...

Anonymous said...

Count me in as a new loyal supporter.

Habs (Season ticket holder) die hard fan.