Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Habs vs.Bs - Adams Division Title Edition

Notes on the third:

-Martin between periods: "Okay, who hijacked The System? Kirkie, I need a nitro tablet for the third."

-Pouliot misses the net so often, I pity the person who cleans his bathroom.

-People crap on Desharnais for only playing well against skating teams like the Caps, but his two best games have been against Philly and the Bs.

-Pax on the PP, and you can hear the collective tightening of Bs' fans sphincters from here.

-This is hell on the goalie stats.

-Wiz is scary on D sometimes, but you can't argue with his points. I say dump Spacek next year and keep the Wiz.

-Just as I write about DD's great game, he takes a dumbass penalty and puts his team back in the hole.

-Subban's just bad tonight. Bad positioning, bad decisions. Bad everything.

-Eight goals on Price. One more and he'll tell Molson he's played his last game as a Hab.

-When Bs fans chant "U.S.A.", it tells us that, contrary to all evidence, they actually do seem to know their geographical location.

-Really? Is there any point to Spacek and Pyatt getting their asses kicked, on top of it all? The sight of Pyatt's blood has the Neanderthals in Boston thinking how cool it would be to invent fire.

-I hope they enjoy their 8 goals and their fights. This is their Stanley Cup. Idiots.

-Good for Pax to pop another one after all the bullshit. Thomas continues to suck against the Habs.

-I hate the Bruins. The leafs pale in comparison.

Notes on the second:

-The Captain's bailing out this sinking boat.

-And Subban gets one back on the boo-birds! (Although that really looked like a tip by Pax.)

-Canadiens' D is gone. They're just completely absent. Unreal.

-Hey, Weber! Nice to see that the bullet shot isn't just a rumour.

-What the hell is going on here? Bruins are cutting through the Habs like a shark through a school of minnows.

-Two cheap head shots on Canadiens before that giant scrum. Let's see how many get called.

-Goalie fight?! Price wins, and the Bs fans are getting their money's worth.

-All the vets get a seat in the penalty box. Eller's got to stand.

-It'd be really helpful if someone would drop a bomb in the Bs penalty box right about now.

-And the goals keep coming. Desharnais is playing really well.

-The odd-man rushes keep coming as well. Is there a National Defence holiday I didn't know about?

-Well. After all that, nothing's really changed. Still down by two, and you have to think Julien will talk his team down for the third.

Notes on the first:

-I think I dislike Rene Rancourt more than Kate Smith...and that's saying a LOT.

-Saved by Bergeron's broken stick. One of the few times a break goes in favour of the Habs.

-Thomas robbed Desharnais like Clyde Barrow robbed banks.

-Why do the Habs have to make a simple zone clearance look like bowling in oven mitts?

-Lucic's Simian arms give him an unfair reach. It's like playing against a baboon.

-Why do Bs fans boo Subban? Other than being total cretins, I mean?

-Hamrlik's close call really makes you look into the "no playoff" abyss. The team can't handle another D injury.

-Can Recchi not retire already? He's got to be a hundred by now. And he kills the Habs every time.

-Someone needs to tell Price and Subban it's not a bloody baseball game.

-That Price theft of a sure Horton goal might have saved what's left of this game.

-Price again! And manhandling Lucic into the bargain.

-Subban's playing a pretty bad game tonight. He's lucky everyone's injured, or he'd be in the pressbox.

-This game is disgraceful. 18-8 down in shots, 2-0 down in goals. The Canadiens have spent the bulk of the period in their own end.


Anvilcloud said...

Oh for the good, old days when they'd get an early lead and hang on for dear life.

Anonymous said...

Why do Gord and Pierre have simultaneous orgasms when the Bruins score? And what's with all the love for Marchand? Why do all the canadian announcers hate the Habs? I just don't get it.

Anonymous said...

If Gomez doesn't play better tomorrow JM should stick him in the press box. He says he has to be better then does this. Disgusting!

Anonymous said...

Julien is an asshole -sending out his goons when the game is almost over.McGuire congratulates him for taking Chara off for the last face-off,BFD.
Pierre probably is running into the Broons room to get a look at the boys changing,what a homo !!!

Peter said...

No team in the NHL taps into my emotional sense of wellbeing like the Bruins do. A loss to the Leafs can hurt the digestion, but losing to the Bruins requires a dopamine infusion.

Still, this is what it's all about. If rivalries like we have with the Bruins didn't exist, our emotional connection to the game wouldn't be as strong.

As you may have guessed, I am in the bargaining stage of the grief process.

Now, I'm depressed...Ah well, tomorrow is another day and another game. Life must go on. Oooo! Acceptance! I'm in the pink.

Thanks J.T!

Anonymous said...

Idiot American crowd.

Anonymous said...

Agree with dumping Spacek but the Wiz has to go too.

I think I just heard Pierre say the Wiz is going to get a bucket of money as a UFA. Now I know why nobody in their right mind would want him for GM.

Somehow I feel sorry for the Bruins more than hate them. Year after year they are pretty good but when the playoffs come they turn into pumpkins. Laughed myself silly last year when they blew a 3-0 lead to Philly. Now the Flyers on the other hand are real easy to hate. Probably because they are for real and could well win the Cup which Boston sure as hell won't do.

Pyatt got murdered by Campbell who kept hitting him when he was down. Pouliot didn't hit Krejci when he was defenseless. B's show no class and need to be taught a lesson. That's why the Habs need Neil and Konopka.

Marco said...

A game like tonight is a disgrace for hockey. A effin' shame...

At least tonight's game confirms that Lucic is a total douche.

CheGordito said...

The NHL is starting to epitomize everything I dislike about Canada and the U.S. Some teams play by the rules, others are just goons. And some fans get off on the savagery and bloodlust!?!

I get burnt out by NHL hockey every once in a while, and want to watch a rules-based sport instead.

RL said...

Thanks JT!!!! Fantastic read!

As a diehard habs fan I hate to say this but must admit I wouldnt mind having lucic on our team. I think he's incredible... baboonish I agree, but strong, fast and MEAN!!!
The Goat needs to get his scouts out from the peeweee leagues and on the hunt for some "normal" sized hockey players. I mean besides St Louis and Briere, which we already tried to acquire in the past, we just about have every little man in the league today. Last nights game was an awaking... a rude awaking... that if the habs dont bulk up and toughen up it will be a repeat of the 2008-2009 playoffs... 1,2,3,4 and OUT!