Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Habs vs. Bolts - Sucky Christmas Road Trip Edition

Notes on the third and OT:

-I love how Gionta likes to take on the biggest possible guy on the other team. First Chara, now Hedman. The size differential is both laughable and laudable.

-Price is a good goalie, but as far as I know he doesn't have x-ray vision. Too bad his D doesn't remember that.

-The powerplay must be rusty since the Ottawa shutout. The first unit looks as effective as a stone sponge.

-How can a team give up nothing through two, and then fall on its ass in the third like that? It's like two different teams.

-Plekanec is so worth five million bucks.

-Our jilted guys are better than their jilted guys.

Notes on the second:

-Smith is pulling a Leclaire here. I don't like this. Goalie battles scare me.

-Habs are fanning more than an old maid sharing a taxi with Brad Pitt.

-I don't have a metaphor for how bad Gill is with the puck. He *is* the metaphor for other bad things. For example, a liverwurst and jelly sandwich is as bad as Gill handling the puck.

-Anyone else get the feeling D'Agostini is getting a shot with some better linemates to prove something before he gets traded?

-It's so good to watch Andrei Kostitsyn using his size. There's so little of it on the team that when a guy has it and actually uses it, it's a treat.

-Gionta picks up the garbage better than the Glad man.

-Cammalleri is slumping. He's fighting the puck every time he has it.

-Stamkos looks like Gretzky's kid. Literally. It's the nose, I think.

-Boy, they like giving everyone heart attacks with two seconds left in the period, don't they?

-So, this is what an almost-healthy team looks like. If they were capitalizing on some of these chances, they'd be pretty impressive.

Notes on the first:

-The second half is off to a resounding start. Now, if only they could score.

-Price looks like he's ready. I just hope he doesn't cough up a soft one to put the team in the hole.

-I guess it's good Lecavalier and St.Louis got left off the Canadian Olympic team. Now that guy who wrote the book about how Quebec-born players are hard done by can write a sequel. At least one Quebecer will benefit from this. And I'm sorry Hammer and Spacek didn't get picked, but a pair of 35-year-old Ds could probably use some R&R during the break.

-I hate all the passing backwards. It's okay once in a while, if you're desperate or can see a better play by regrouping. But doing it all the time is NOT a good sign.

-No penalty call on the upending of D'Agostini early in the period makes me think there really is a reffing problem when it comes to the Habs.

-Lapierre is sucking harder than a six-year-old on a jawbreaker.

-Cammalleri has to stop trying to carry the puck into the offensive zone by himself. It's not his strength.

-Plekanec sees moving objects more clearly than the Hubble telescope.

-D'Agostini looks like he's had a jolt from the paddles. It's the most noticable he's been in a while. Metro has that effect on people.

-Watching O'Byrne and Gill try to pass the puck between them is like watching Helen Keller whisper to Beethoven.

-Habs really need to score first. It's that kind of game.


DB said...

Here's a few of metaphors for Gill:

1. Gill handles the puck as smoothly as a 14 year trying to unhook his first girlfriend's bra.

2. Gill handles the puck as smoothly as a car with worn shocks drives on a dirt road.

3. Gill handles the puck as well as Laraque skates.

4. Gill handles the puck as well as he skates.

5. Gill's decisions with the puck are as intelligent as the Price/Halak debate.

Arune Singh said...

The jilted guys comment made me legitimately laugh. I love your recaps.

Andrew Berkshire said...

Never noticed that about Stamkos until you pointed it out, but damn is the similarity striking! I think it's more than the nose, Gretz had the same hair as Stamkos when he was younger as well, and similar eyebrows.